The last thing I want to do...

...is to get sick. Both of my roommates are coming down with something and I am hoping to not get infected. I was woken up this morning by the sound of them coughing up their lungs. Then I thought about how if I stay in my room forever the nasties in the air won't get to me. I mean, there's no way it can sneak past my door right? Then I thought about how much I really wanted a bowl of coco pebbles cereal with my nonfat organic milk... Shit, I am so screwed. At any time I could've hopped right out of my bed and grab me a bowl of cereal... But I couldn't stop thinking about how much I am about to risk just for a damn bowl of cereal. So I just laid in my bed for 2 more hours. And here I am. Still being immersed in my white sheets. My overly comfortable bed. Just drowning in it. Never wanting to leave. And this is how I am going to spend my last day of winter break.

xoxo

Don't ever get too comfortable

I'm getting a little too comfortable here at home. I don't want to leave back to Fullerton for various reasons. Firstly, because I am just not ready to start the Spring semester of my Jr. year (mostly because I haven't studied my French). Secondly, I am going to have to clean up after myself again (I know that sounds silly because I am an adult and that should come naturally...but when I am at home, my parents treats me like a queen... I get spoiled here). Thirdly, I am going to have to pay for my own grocery and cook for myself. Fourthly, no more shopping spree with my mother. Fifthly, just simply because I will miss my mother, father, lil sister, and grandma. Sixthly, AND having to associate with people that I don't want to associate with. Most of these just sounds like I have the case of the "lazy." Haha.

I am somewhat excited to go back though. For these reasons:
• I get to be back in my favorite bedroom
• I get to be back in the warmth
• I get to stop making excuses for just sitting on the couch
• I get to go to the beach
• I get to see my Littles
• I get to be on my own again...

I get like this every time winter break comes around. But this break was different. I learned to appreciate my family more. I'd choose them over anything. My friends heard a lot from me saying "Sorry I can't tonight, I have to hang out with my family." Trust me, that never happens before. I used to go out every night and don't come home til the crack of dawn. This break was different for sure. I enjoyed it. I think it definitely made it harder for me to leave though. Well, c'est la vie.

Xoxo

Hold up.

Last year, I allowed my heart and mind to roam freely and let life take its course. In the mist of all of that, I have somehow lost myself. I lost bits and pieces of who I was and who I wanted to be. Traditions, beliefs, respect, and friendships were a few important aspects that I have surrendered in exchange for a careless heart and mind.

This year, I am willing to take it all back but with some adjustments. I am not setting New Year's resolutions. These are not New Year's resolutions. Only because I think those are cheesy and stupid. I feel like NY's resolutions are just something people created to make them feel better about themselves and it's expected for the new year. Hence the whole "New year, new me" crap. I want to carry these changes for the rest of my life, not just for this year. And technically, I'm bringing them back, not setting new ones.

Birthdays:
Birthday celebrations used to be so important to me. Whether it's mine or somebody else's. I would make birthdays so special. Especially for my closest friends. Last year, I let all birthdays slipped through the gap of my fingers. Nobody's birthday mattered. I chose to not attend some of my closest friends' birthday extravaganzas simply because I just didn't care. Gifts became late gifts and eventually no gifts at all. Not even a card. I am going to change this. I'm not saying I'm going to spoil the crap out of people on their b-day. I used to do that...and that's how I am always out of money, heh. But at least a card. Birthdays will become important again this year.

Education:
I panicked a lot last semester with school. I don't ever ever ever want to have to go through that experience ever again. I seriously expected all of my school work to just finish on its own. What was I thinking? I left everything to the last minute... literally. I rarely went to my classes. I would sleep through them. But luck was always on my side. I managed to pull nothing less than a B in the end. What if one day there are no more loopholes? What if one day luck decides to leave me? I am going to start being responsible again and make deadlines before actual deadlines. I know school won't always be this easy, I've got to start preparing. I am in college for crying out loud.

I am going to take hold of my life. This whole "whatever happens happens" has been fun. It has made my life a piece of cake, but I want to stop leaving it to fate. I mean, not completely stop. But at least be responsible for some of my actions. I want to make choices. Smart choices.

NYE

"You can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds. Watching 

yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed. So for those of you falling 

in love keep it kind. Keep it good. Keep it right. Throw yourself in the midst of 

danger but keep one eye open at night."

Redefining...

I miss writing so much. I don't know what's gotten in me lately but I have been living without any inspirations. I want to be able to find that again. I want to find the drive. I want to find the greatness of life again. Maybe I'm just really exhausted. I rarely get any free time to do just whatever I would like. But when I do, I would find myself choosing sleep over everything else. I need to find inspirations to make my life a little more interesting. I need to find it soon. Don't get me wrong, I am truly happy. I appreciate everything life has to offer... But I need more. I want to LIVE IT. I want to do cool things again. Let's hope something will spark my inspiration plug soon.

xoxo, Ly

I wrote this on a plane, quickly.

I really dislike it when I get out of the writing zone. There'll be months where I'm on a roll, determined to write about anything and everything. And there'll be months where I just live. Well, here goes my first entry for August. 

I am home yet once again. Usually, I would have an agenda for what I expect to happen. But this time, I didn't know for what was going to be in store for me and I didn't care what was going to be in store for me. All I wanted to do was sleep. The couple of days leading up to my homecoming had left me so sleep deprived. Dealing with my French final while trying not to ignore all of the fun around me gave me roughly four hours of sleep within the 48 hours of cramming and "funning." Wait... I really just said funning... I kind of like it. Funning. Anywho, you would think that I would be a pro at packing by now... but um, not really. I still suck, a lot. Wanna know how I packed for this trip? I literally threw my laundry hamper filled with filthy 3-weeks worth of clothes into a large black suitcase. C'est fini. I didn't care to pack any shampoo, conditioner, and body wash... nothing. Just my dirty clothes. I figured my mom would have all of the good stuff at home. And she did. 

For once in my entire life I did not care to see my friends. As weird as that sound… all I wanted to do was to be with my family. Every time I am home, I rarely get to see my family. They work all day, and when they come home at night, I’m out with my friends. This time, I really wanted to just hang out with my family. Plus, I didn’t have a car so that really helped control the urge to go out. I love being home. My parents treat me like a princess. No joke. Also, everything is free. Free breakfast, lunch, dinner, shopping, massages, pedi, mani, LIKE EVERYTHING. I truly appreciate everything they do for me.

My mother just turned 47 on August 11. This was the first year in my entire life that I had to miss her birthday. So she postponed her birthday party until I came home. All of her friends showed up. Most of the family came together (this made me so happy because it’s been years since everyone was content with one another. Just like old times.) My mom turned our dining room & living room into a dance floor. She removed all of our furniture and threw them in the garage. It may sound crazy but everything looked pretty good. I could tell that she had a great time. I have never seen my mother that happy before. When I brought out the cake, everybody surrounded and sung to her. She was the queen. All eyes were on her. She definitely felt special. I will never forget the smile she had on her face that night. It was a night to remember.

I like coming home for just a few days. If I were to stay any longer, I would’ve hated it for sure. Five days at home was perfection. When my parents dropped me off at the Sacramento Airport, I was truly sad. I had such a great vacation at home man. But I’m not complaining because it’s all worth it. Leaving them on great terms will only make coming back to them that much better. I think the reason why I’m so sad this time is because I know that it’ll be months until I get to see them next. I’ve been coming home almost every month this summer. The next time I’m home will most likely be in November for Thanksgiving break. Which is like 3 months from now. But that’s all right. School and work will keep me busy. Time will fly by once again, it always does.  Gosh, it’s so weird being old. 

San Antonio, TX

I fell in love with this place. It wasn't too bad of a drive from New Orleans to here. We got here pretty early enough to roam the city while the sun was still out. Usually the three of us would take turn driving. You know, a few hours per person... well, I slept through the whole drive. Haha. I have never slept so much in a car before. I had to pay for the hotel room this night. So I Hotwired it. Hotwire is a pretty neat site. You can get last minute deals for hotel rooms and stuff based on star ratings. The only sucky part is you won't know which hotel you will get until you click "purchase." If you like taking chances then it could also be a fun lil game. We ended up with the Hampton Inn a mile away from the Alamo and town center. It was a pretty nice hotel for how much I paid ($75). It was walking distance to pretty much everything. 

We checked in to our room and left to find a place to have dinner as soon as we got there. I despise walking anywhere... but when I am in a tourist-y mood, I will walk anywhere and everywhere. We walked a few blocks to the town center. It was called the River Center or something like that. It's a cute little place. Kind of like a mall... but what's neat about this is it has like a river running throughout the whole place. It has a very patriotic theme. They might've just decorated the place in red, white, and blue for Fourth of July though. Maybe that's why. There were a lot of creepers and teenagers there. So glad Megan's dad was there to protect us haha. We were starving and couldn't decide between Tony Roma's and Hooters... I have never been to any of those place mentioned before. But we ended up with Hooters. I got some boneless chicken, and barely finished half of it. I think the half-clothed girls really just took away my appetite. It was distasteful. The food was just alright. They had horrible service too. After the Hooters, we went to see The Alamo!!! I was dying to go sightseeing. Actually, we grabbed some desserts at Haagen Dazs before we headed to The Alamo. Took a few pictures here and there. Megan really wanted to do some activities, so we paid to do this mirror maze thing and 007 laser light. It was fun. We were kids again. I got myself a shirt that says San Antonio, Tx on there. It's a pretty sweet looking lil thang. After all of the shenanigans were done, we walked back to the hotel to rest up. Because we are going to drive FOREVER to Arizona. San Antonio, you're beautiful. Here are some pix.