Hold up.

Last year, I allowed my heart and mind to roam freely and let life take its course. In the mist of all of that, I have somehow lost myself. I lost bits and pieces of who I was and who I wanted to be. Traditions, beliefs, respect, and friendships were a few important aspects that I have surrendered in exchange for a careless heart and mind.

This year, I am willing to take it all back but with some adjustments. I am not setting New Year's resolutions. These are not New Year's resolutions. Only because I think those are cheesy and stupid. I feel like NY's resolutions are just something people created to make them feel better about themselves and it's expected for the new year. Hence the whole "New year, new me" crap. I want to carry these changes for the rest of my life, not just for this year. And technically, I'm bringing them back, not setting new ones.

Birthdays:
Birthday celebrations used to be so important to me. Whether it's mine or somebody else's. I would make birthdays so special. Especially for my closest friends. Last year, I let all birthdays slipped through the gap of my fingers. Nobody's birthday mattered. I chose to not attend some of my closest friends' birthday extravaganzas simply because I just didn't care. Gifts became late gifts and eventually no gifts at all. Not even a card. I am going to change this. I'm not saying I'm going to spoil the crap out of people on their b-day. I used to do that...and that's how I am always out of money, heh. But at least a card. Birthdays will become important again this year.

Education:
I panicked a lot last semester with school. I don't ever ever ever want to have to go through that experience ever again. I seriously expected all of my school work to just finish on its own. What was I thinking? I left everything to the last minute... literally. I rarely went to my classes. I would sleep through them. But luck was always on my side. I managed to pull nothing less than a B in the end. What if one day there are no more loopholes? What if one day luck decides to leave me? I am going to start being responsible again and make deadlines before actual deadlines. I know school won't always be this easy, I've got to start preparing. I am in college for crying out loud.

I am going to take hold of my life. This whole "whatever happens happens" has been fun. It has made my life a piece of cake, but I want to stop leaving it to fate. I mean, not completely stop. But at least be responsible for some of my actions. I want to make choices. Smart choices.