The last thing I want to do...

...is to get sick. Both of my roommates are coming down with something and I am hoping to not get infected. I was woken up this morning by the sound of them coughing up their lungs. Then I thought about how if I stay in my room forever the nasties in the air won't get to me. I mean, there's no way it can sneak past my door right? Then I thought about how much I really wanted a bowl of coco pebbles cereal with my nonfat organic milk... Shit, I am so screwed. At any time I could've hopped right out of my bed and grab me a bowl of cereal... But I couldn't stop thinking about how much I am about to risk just for a damn bowl of cereal. So I just laid in my bed for 2 more hours. And here I am. Still being immersed in my white sheets. My overly comfortable bed. Just drowning in it. Never wanting to leave. And this is how I am going to spend my last day of winter break.

xoxo

Don't ever get too comfortable

I'm getting a little too comfortable here at home. I don't want to leave back to Fullerton for various reasons. Firstly, because I am just not ready to start the Spring semester of my Jr. year (mostly because I haven't studied my French). Secondly, I am going to have to clean up after myself again (I know that sounds silly because I am an adult and that should come naturally...but when I am at home, my parents treats me like a queen... I get spoiled here). Thirdly, I am going to have to pay for my own grocery and cook for myself. Fourthly, no more shopping spree with my mother. Fifthly, just simply because I will miss my mother, father, lil sister, and grandma. Sixthly, AND having to associate with people that I don't want to associate with. Most of these just sounds like I have the case of the "lazy." Haha.

I am somewhat excited to go back though. For these reasons:
• I get to be back in my favorite bedroom
• I get to be back in the warmth
• I get to stop making excuses for just sitting on the couch
• I get to go to the beach
• I get to see my Littles
• I get to be on my own again...

I get like this every time winter break comes around. But this break was different. I learned to appreciate my family more. I'd choose them over anything. My friends heard a lot from me saying "Sorry I can't tonight, I have to hang out with my family." Trust me, that never happens before. I used to go out every night and don't come home til the crack of dawn. This break was different for sure. I enjoyed it. I think it definitely made it harder for me to leave though. Well, c'est la vie.

Xoxo

Hold up.

Last year, I allowed my heart and mind to roam freely and let life take its course. In the mist of all of that, I have somehow lost myself. I lost bits and pieces of who I was and who I wanted to be. Traditions, beliefs, respect, and friendships were a few important aspects that I have surrendered in exchange for a careless heart and mind.

This year, I am willing to take it all back but with some adjustments. I am not setting New Year's resolutions. These are not New Year's resolutions. Only because I think those are cheesy and stupid. I feel like NY's resolutions are just something people created to make them feel better about themselves and it's expected for the new year. Hence the whole "New year, new me" crap. I want to carry these changes for the rest of my life, not just for this year. And technically, I'm bringing them back, not setting new ones.

Birthdays:
Birthday celebrations used to be so important to me. Whether it's mine or somebody else's. I would make birthdays so special. Especially for my closest friends. Last year, I let all birthdays slipped through the gap of my fingers. Nobody's birthday mattered. I chose to not attend some of my closest friends' birthday extravaganzas simply because I just didn't care. Gifts became late gifts and eventually no gifts at all. Not even a card. I am going to change this. I'm not saying I'm going to spoil the crap out of people on their b-day. I used to do that...and that's how I am always out of money, heh. But at least a card. Birthdays will become important again this year.

Education:
I panicked a lot last semester with school. I don't ever ever ever want to have to go through that experience ever again. I seriously expected all of my school work to just finish on its own. What was I thinking? I left everything to the last minute... literally. I rarely went to my classes. I would sleep through them. But luck was always on my side. I managed to pull nothing less than a B in the end. What if one day there are no more loopholes? What if one day luck decides to leave me? I am going to start being responsible again and make deadlines before actual deadlines. I know school won't always be this easy, I've got to start preparing. I am in college for crying out loud.

I am going to take hold of my life. This whole "whatever happens happens" has been fun. It has made my life a piece of cake, but I want to stop leaving it to fate. I mean, not completely stop. But at least be responsible for some of my actions. I want to make choices. Smart choices.

NYE

"You can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds. Watching 

yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed. So for those of you falling 

in love keep it kind. Keep it good. Keep it right. Throw yourself in the midst of 

danger but keep one eye open at night."