20th Reflect

As my 20th year is coming to an end, I feel kind of bittersweet. Today is the day. The last day of my 20th. Man, I have been waiting to turn 21 for so long. However, as the days were approaching, all I wanted was for time to slow down. The excitement that I have had for the last few months, even years (since I was 18), while waiting for the arrival of this day have slowly come to a halt. I can't tell if it's because I loved my 20th so much, or I'm just scared. People have said, it's all down hill after 21! But knowing me, I never look at the negative side of things. I think it'll still be amazing. I don't think it's more of me being scared, but more so about leaving such a great year behind. This year was so beautiful. Every year has been so beautiful, but this year topped it all.

I wanted to go on a big hike today to celebrate my last day and just to reflect back the past 20 years of life. I wanted to do so much to send off my 20th year. But doing homework and prepping for school for my upcoming weekend in Vegas is much more important. Haha, I sound so lame but I have no choice, all of my professors decided to celebrate my birthday with midterm exams. So this is how I am going to spend my last day. Actually, I'm really excited for the gym later on. The only non-work thing I'll be doing!

Alright, so let me explain a little bit about why I kept on bragging about my 20th year. I learned so much about life. It was the year that I fell madly infatuated with a guy and it was all so new to me. I haven't liked any one this much since Music. I learned how much somebody could hurt me yet make me feel so happy. I learned how to be vulnerable and express my emotions a little more. I thought I fell in love... hahah let's be real, love does not exist here, or allowed. When I like a guy, I would pick at his flaws until I am absolutely disgusted with him and then I run away, but this can be another entry for another day. I went on so many adventures that fueled my love for mother nature and for the world even more! I got a promotion at work.  I went to Coachella! I gained a couple of bridesmaids. I went to Hawaii for the first time ever! I was elected to be the Philanthropy Director in my sorority. I became less shallow (this was such a breakthrough for me). I fell in love with my sorority all over again. I voted for the first time ever! I got a breast augmentation. I had the best summer. I think the most important thing was that I learned how to appreciate, embrace, and enhance life a little more. Man, it was an awesome year. Whoever said that your 20th year is the worst year because you're stuck waiting for your 21st was so wrong. It's all about how you choose to live it. And I think I chose wisely.

Dear 20 year old me, I'm going to miss you.

Dear 21 year old me, I hope you're going to be as cool as your 20 year old self, don't get to wild and I hope you'll still have morals. I hope that you'll still continue to make your life meaningful, not just to yourself but to the rest of the world.

I hope I will survive the bars tonight.

Oh and I hope you'll start using your FlipCam again.

xoxo.