Ain't Nobody's Problem

This. This is my all time fave. 

What if the reason we're living is just to die happy?

I like to have a lot of "me" time. And when I do my mind wanders. So this was a thought that ran across my young brain. What if we were all put on this earth just to find ways to die happy? What if that was our life goal? To accomplish as many fulfilling goals just to lead up to that big one, to die content. Has anyone thought about that? Our lives were tailored differently for each of us, but we all get to have the same goal. Even though we all have different ways to work towards that goal, that goal binds us all together.

Everyone has their own way of interpreting "happiness." But if we look at the big picture, happiness & sadness are black and white, no gray area in between. Happiness to me is the feeling of contentment, a feeling that makes you feel like you're above the clouds and no worries in the world could stop you. You get crazy amount of butterflies in your tummy when you're happy. That genuine smile from cheek to cheek, that's happiness. Think of a roller coaster ride. That moment of slowly going up the rail...waiting for the big drop, that's your whole life. The feeling you get from that drop is death (yes, this sounds awful...but keep reading). Think about that feeling. That light fluttery feeling. That tickle in your stomach. The sensation you can never experience by just "living." It feels like everything in your body is flying. That feeling. It's a good feeling. Death should be a good feeling. If you don't feel that when you die, I think you've been living your life all wrong. Even when you are dying from sickness and you are hurting everywhere on or in your body, you should be able to feel content.

Death is a scary thought for some. For others, it's expected. We all will die. Unless of course some mad scientist can discover some magical potion that will let us all live forever. Then my "happy death" theory will be false and my whole life will just be a life. But I don't want to live forever. I want to be traditional: born, live, and die. Whenever and however I die, I want to know that I have done so much in my life that I am content. I want to die with the largest smile on my face. I want to die knowing that I have touched many lives whether it be in the smallest way or the biggest way. I want to die knowing that all of the sub-goals that I have set for myself have been accomplished. I want to die with butterflies. I want to die with the feeling of a roller coaster drop.

Basically, do things that will make you happy. Do things that will make you die happy. Life is way too short to not be good to others and yourself. Take a second and think about everything that you have been doing. Will you die happy knowing that you have been treating yourself and others wrongly? Change your routine. Change your actions. Change your attitude. Be positive. Be happy. You're still on that roller coaster and the drop awaits. So be excited when it comes. Let's all plan a great death.

xoxo

Y'all, I've fallen in love

The most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on, I am so madly in love. I have never seen anything that has such a big heart with so much to offer, not only to me, but to the world. I never thought I was capable of love, especially this young and this fast, but you've shown me the ability to love through the goods and the bads. You've changed who I am and allowed me to grow into something so much more. You've shown me the light at the end of the tunnel when I thought I was completely lost and had no where to go. You make me so happy, even when there's absolutely nothing to be happy about. You allowed me to share that happiness with others around me without any jealousy. You are so selfless, you try to help as many people as you could, and yet still have time for me. You are so amazing. You inspire me to try and be just as amazing. You're so funny. You have a way about you. You taught me to believe and always hope for the best. You gave me the idea that "everything will always be alright." Every time I think about you, I get the biggest smile on my face. Every time I think about how great you are, I get little butterflies in my stomach. I am so blessed. I wake up everyday knowing that I have made it to another day with you. Without you, I would be nothing. You are always on my mind. Even when you are mean to me. But you always find ways to make it up to me. We've made so many memories together in such a short period of time and I can't wait to make more awesome memories for many years to come. I love you so much Life. I am so grateful to be living. No, not just living, but to be able to live you to the fullest, always.

xoxo

20th Reflect

As my 20th year is coming to an end, I feel kind of bittersweet. Today is the day. The last day of my 20th. Man, I have been waiting to turn 21 for so long. However, as the days were approaching, all I wanted was for time to slow down. The excitement that I have had for the last few months, even years (since I was 18), while waiting for the arrival of this day have slowly come to a halt. I can't tell if it's because I loved my 20th so much, or I'm just scared. People have said, it's all down hill after 21! But knowing me, I never look at the negative side of things. I think it'll still be amazing. I don't think it's more of me being scared, but more so about leaving such a great year behind. This year was so beautiful. Every year has been so beautiful, but this year topped it all.

I wanted to go on a big hike today to celebrate my last day and just to reflect back the past 20 years of life. I wanted to do so much to send off my 20th year. But doing homework and prepping for school for my upcoming weekend in Vegas is much more important. Haha, I sound so lame but I have no choice, all of my professors decided to celebrate my birthday with midterm exams. So this is how I am going to spend my last day. Actually, I'm really excited for the gym later on. The only non-work thing I'll be doing!

Alright, so let me explain a little bit about why I kept on bragging about my 20th year. I learned so much about life. It was the year that I fell madly infatuated with a guy and it was all so new to me. I haven't liked any one this much since Music. I learned how much somebody could hurt me yet make me feel so happy. I learned how to be vulnerable and express my emotions a little more. I thought I fell in love... hahah let's be real, love does not exist here, or allowed. When I like a guy, I would pick at his flaws until I am absolutely disgusted with him and then I run away, but this can be another entry for another day. I went on so many adventures that fueled my love for mother nature and for the world even more! I got a promotion at work.  I went to Coachella! I gained a couple of bridesmaids. I went to Hawaii for the first time ever! I was elected to be the Philanthropy Director in my sorority. I became less shallow (this was such a breakthrough for me). I fell in love with my sorority all over again. I voted for the first time ever! I got a breast augmentation. I had the best summer. I think the most important thing was that I learned how to appreciate, embrace, and enhance life a little more. Man, it was an awesome year. Whoever said that your 20th year is the worst year because you're stuck waiting for your 21st was so wrong. It's all about how you choose to live it. And I think I chose wisely.

Dear 20 year old me, I'm going to miss you.

Dear 21 year old me, I hope you're going to be as cool as your 20 year old self, don't get to wild and I hope you'll still have morals. I hope that you'll still continue to make your life meaningful, not just to yourself but to the rest of the world.

I hope I will survive the bars tonight.

Oh and I hope you'll start using your FlipCam again.

xoxo.

Song Saturday

The Summit- Skrillex

THE 20 MISTAKES IN YOUR 20s

Everyone knows that their 20s are their most selfish years. These are the years to learn, have fun, and make mistakes. These are the years to go balls out and not give a damn. There are plenty of articles written by the ghosts of the 20s' past about the Do's and Don'ts. These articles were written with warnings, telling us to make these the best years of our lives. It's funny because with so many articles written about the 20s, it seems like once you've crossed the 30 line... you're no longer important. Where are the 30s, 40s, and 50s? My Facebook newsfeed have been blowing up with these types of articles. All from recent graduated seniors and seniors. I have read every single one of them and only one article actually stood out to me. This one: The 20 mistakes you don't want to make in your 20s. Preston Waters gives the brutal truth. As I was reading through the 20 mistakes, my brain was trying to fight all the points he was trying to make. But in the back of my mind, I thought wow, this couldn't be any more truer. Here are some that really stood out to me:

I couldn't agree more with the #1 mistake on the list. This was actually a point my brain wasn't putting up a fight about. But it was actually giving a standing ovation. I'm one to believe in karma. Burning all bridges is the worst mistake anyone can make. And this should be carried throughout your whole life and not just to realize when in your 20s. Do good things but don't expect anything in return. Be nice even when you want to react in the meanest way, trust me, the sweetest revenge is to kill them with sweetness. It's amazing how life works, but don't ever forget karma.

I have friends, a lot of friends. Some are easily disposed, some are very valuable. Being in a sorority comes with lots and lots of friends. But I know better with quality vs. quantity. Luckily I have a nice balance between the two. I have plenty of friends, but I also have a few friends I can count in just one hand whom I can trust with my life. I'm usually the peacemaker, but as of late, in the past couple of years or so, I have learned to realize who's worth it and who's not. How I view it is that if I lose a friend, I reevaluate our friendship. I ask myself how beneficial are they in my life. That sounds incredibly harsh and mean, but let me further explain... I would ask myself these following questions: Do they make me happy? Have they been there for me? Will I be sad if they're no longer in my life? Will I miss them? If I say no to any of these and feel that they're not going to be an asset to my life, our friendship is really not worth striving for. My 20s are my selfish year. Everything is about me. I am living for nobody else but me. Therefore, there is no room for friends who will not benefit ME. My friends should be able to inspire me, motivate me, and challenge me. They definitely should not surround me with a negative aura and bring me down. I know this paragraph was all about me.. ME ME ME, I'm selfish. I'm allowed to be, I am 20.

This is a point my brain was picking at. I am #11. I'm definitely sticking to the job I have right now just because it is convenient. It does not challenge me nor does it help me get closer to my career goals. I am so comfortable here and that makes me lazy. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to have a job. But, it doesn't make me happy. I will not be able to get a job I love once I get out of college based on this job. Number 11 really made me realize that maybe I should quit. Maybe I should find a job that's going to make me happy. Maybe I should find a job that's going to further my career. Okay, not maybes, but I will. 

Vacation, vacation, vacation. Okay, #12 was written for me. This mistake is the king of all warnings. I feel like I need a vacation all the time, and I take vacations all the time. Whether it's a big trip, or a mini-vacay, I love vacations. I shouldn't be taking any vacations because vacations are extremely expensive. I haven't accomplished anything, therefore, I don't deserve a vacation. I need to focus on what's important for me. I'm not one to think for the future, I live in the moment. But I'm starting to realize that these moments are not good enough. These moments aren't vacation worthy. Okay, I'm rambling, I don't exactly know what I'm trying to say, but just to point out the fact that I really don't deserve a break. Until I feel like I have earned it.

Ladies, love is for suckers. And I am a sucker. Well, not exactly. I'm not looking for love. Especially not at this point in life. I'm not looking for a relationship either, because I know how crazy those gets. But, I am dating. I love dating. But, the emotional effects are just about the same. I'm a lot stronger than most when it comes to dealing with my emotions, but sometime, it gets way out of hand. It can change my mood from happy to extremely annoyed. Why should anyone have the ability to control your emotions right? Better off alone. But alone doesn't give you all of the benefits you can get out of a partner. I know not to fall in love. I'm smarter than that. Dating can be great, and bad. Well, this was another pointless paragraph about me rambling about absolutely nothing. Lol. Just forget about this. Don't fall in love.

There you have it. My five favorite points from "The 20 mistakes." Take it and run with it. I think these were very honest and they weren't sugar coated at all. There are no butterflies and flowers, just some harsh truths. 

Au revoir.

xoxo

Sunset Cliffs, San Diego

I have created a list of things to do and places to go and I am determined to finish it all by the end of summer (3 weeks from now, yikes!) So first thing to be checked off of that list is Sunset Cliffs. I came across it on Yelp and the pictures of the place swept me away. I love the beach and any chance for me to be at the beach I will take!

Sunset Cliffs is located a street called Sunset Cliffs Blvd . It is exactly what it is called. People go here specifically for the sunset. My, it is definitely a view to see! I envy the lucky folks who gets to live here. Along Sunset Cliffs Blvd, there are a number of places that you can pull over to see this beautiful sight. There will be signs lined up along the edges warning you not to go on the cliffs. But nobody ever listens. If you do, you'll get a mediocre view. If you're a daredevil, (haha, it's honestly not scary at all) ignore the warnings and you'll be left speechless by the view! At the end of Sunset Cliffs Blvd, there'll be a big parking lot with two porta potties, park there, and go down the makeshift trail that'll lead you to a small beach. You'll see a few people there but it is not populated at all. Trust me, it is so peaceful! As if you have the whole beach to yourself. The trail leading down to the beach is kind of dangerous. People can slip and fall of the cliff very easily. But if you trust your instinct and hope for the best (lol, probably the worst advice ever), you will have a great time! Once you get near the bottom, there's a rope that you can hold on to to climb down (this part was the coolest). Once you're down, take a deep breath and just soak it all in! Take your clothes off, lay your towel down, put on your suntan lotion, and relax. You can either relax or watch the surfers ride the waves, or you can go explore the caves and climb the rocks along the beach. It is amazing. I wish I had more time to explore, but I went there to paint and that literally took me 3 hours. I had to move so many times because the water kept on getting higher and higher. At the end, I had to just wrap up early because the waves were smashing too close to me. Check it out when you get a chance!